I am waiting for the day when I can write about Izzy's life...hell I am waiting for the day I can think of Izzy and not end up in a puddle of tears. I was so fortunate to have her in my life. We learned so much together and had so many first as a team. Izzy was so much more than just a pet she was my family, my friend and joy. Since she has been away I feel like the shine is off the apple. I sleep a lot and have a hard time dragging myself through the day. My Dr. asked if I wanted something to help me through...but since morphine was not on the menu I declined. Once again I search for answers and ideas to hang onto to help me. I know the facts...in most cases we outlive our dogs and 15+ years is a nice long life for a dog. BUT I had it in my head she would be with me longer....the truth is, there is never a good age to lose a dog. Still those facts do not lessen the agony of loss. I have one notion I came up with that has been helping me. I am thinking of this experience like broken glass. At first it is shiny, sharp and can cut you deep every time you touch it. Over time and with a ocean of tears the sharp edges smooth and you end up with sea glass that is beautiful to the eye and hand. Avoidance of course only drags out the process. Like sea glass this transformation does not happen over night. It is a process...a slow process filled with rough water, sand, rocks, confusion and pain. The other thing I try to remember is that there is no wrong way to mourn. You just try do what feels right. So now that the show is over and the company is gone I am alone to wade through this. With the hope someday to hold sea glass instead a broken heart.